Slightly Offbeat
Three things a guy should want to change about his girl is her last name, address, and her viewpoint on men.
Kid Cudi
Oh god.  Gotta love Fox News…

Oh god.  Gotta love Fox News…

He’s been telling people he wants to remain on good terms when you go to college so he can get ass when you come home.

I told you he was a shitty person, you didn’t believe me.  I’m not going to tell you that he said this because you still won’t break up with him regardless.  Even after all of the awful things he’s said in the past that I’ve told you about you haven’t cared.  So this time I’m not going to waste my breath.

You say every guy you’ve been with is a dick?  Maybe you just let them be.

Love’s not a competition but I’m winning.
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